OUT OF THE BOX

High Sierra Country Store

By LL Copyrighted

Porchtime, products, advice and legends

Fundays Calendar

june 18- Full Strawberry Moon

june 19-29 Mammoth Motocross

june 20 Summer Solstice

Midsummer's Eve

june 24 Midsummer Day-for farmers, mid-way through the growing season. Half way point between planting and harvesting. Midsummer's Eve-good night for fertility and some festivities, or is it the other way around?

Horriblescope for the Week of: June 9-15

Gemini- May 21-June 20

Now's the time to rid yourself of pesky insects, get outside, weed, and hoe, hoe, hoe. Do not write your love letters in red ink--it's unlucky.

Cancer-June 21-July 22

Get out and plant something, or transplant someone or yourself. Do not meet a love interest on Sunday--Sunday's wooing turns to boo-hooing.

Leo- July 23- Aug. 22

You should be pruning or shaving for growth. Do not sit at the corners of tables or you'll never marry.

Virgo- Aug. 23- Sept. 22

Join your Cancer pal and do some grafting. Avoid telling your date "Good Night" three times, it's bad luck.

Libra-Sept. 23- Oct. 22

It appears you don't garden, and you probably use a left-handed shovel. Do not wear black funeral clothes when you go courting, or you'll never marry.

Scorpio-Oct. 23-Nov.22

So you like secrets, huh? You should plan on grafting with your friends-Cancer and Virgo. You're one of 90 million American singles (14 million in Canada) looking for love, with no guarantees....

Sagittarius-Nov. 23- Dec. 21

You were born an attention-getter. I mean, look at your birth dates. You split America's two, largest holidays--Thanksgiving and Christmas. You and Leo pal will do well pruning together.

Capricorn-Dec. 22-Jan. 19

You like to build fences (literally and figuratively) and plant flower beds--so get to it. Throw an apple peel over your left shoulder, and when it falls it will be in the shape of your soul mate's initial.

Aquarius-Jan. 20-Feb. 19

Offer to control pests with bug-a-nators Leo and Gemini, or plow and hoe, which ever suits you best. Speed dating won't work for you.

Pisces-Feb. 20-Mar. 20

You like to plant and play in the dirt, and also enjoy transplanting somewhere else with Scorpio. On June 23, set out cheese, bread and beer on a fresh, white tablecloth. Then leave the front door open. Your lover or your neighbor's dog will show up hungry.

Aries-Mar. 21-Apr. 20

Do all your pruning before the full moon--to encourage growth. Throw a small piece of fish fat against the wall. If it sticks upright, your mate will be upright too. However, if the fish fat sticks crooked...well, you can finish the fill-in-the-blank.

Taurus-Apr. 21-May 20

You are the original red-necked farmer, with your sunburned skin around your shirt collar. You really like to play in the dirt with Cancer and Scorpio friends. Never court on a Friday, or you'll never meet again.

*Disclaimer: Only the ancients believed in this stuff, and they thought the world was flat! Astrology is not a tool to live your life by. It's merely fun, like going to a fortune teller....

Don't Be An ED!

Scene: A park table at Mammoth Creek. It's a sunny, warm day and a couple are enjoying a picnic lunch by the creek. They decide to stroll to the stream's edge--leaving their lunch up for grabs.

ED: Look Lil! Gosh darned it. The squirrels have taken our sandwiches and chips.

Lil: Yep, and that's the end of the picnic, ED!

ED: We can still stay and enjoy the creek, Lil.

Lil: You go right on ahead, ED. I'll just be picking up after our little uninvited lunch guests--before the rest of the forest finds out about meals from wheels.

DON'T LEAVE FOOD OUTSIDE OR UNATTENDED. DON'T FEED FREE-LOADING ANIMALS. DON'T BE AN ED!